Hate Landing pages, do you?

WELL, You’ve got 30 seconds to dismiss this one

Otherwise you’ll automatically purchase $1,000 in junk bonds from a dummy corporation we set up just for this reason.

Better hurry!  time’s almost up!  Choose now!

Is this it? Maybe this? Speak with Jesus Teleport to Crab Nebula Regress in time Lose 20 lbs. This is getting stupid Gotta be this I seriously hate you people