Goat Vomit Prevents Woman without Washing Machine from Being Able to Wear Only Pair of Overalls

EUGENE, Ore. (BN) — A juvenile goat’s indiscretion led to a woman being unable to go into work this past week, Brimborion News is reporting. Lana Murphy, 25, woke up to find her overalls, which had been left outside all night on a patio chair, covered in vomit. All signs pointed to her pet goat, George Hempferson, being the culprit.

“I think he got into the coffee beans again,” Murphy said. “Or maybe the beeswax. There was everything you could imagine in it. Yarn, compost, burlap. And goats are known for eating everything imaginable, so.”

Murphy, who works at a hydroponic farm a few miles outside Eugene, and also volunteers at the local farmers’ market, said she can’t do her job if she’s not wearing her overalls. “They’re so versatile. I wear them everywhere. I’ve had the same pair for 5 years and they only need to be hosed off about once every few months. My friend has a washboard and wringer, so a couple times a year I’ll take them over when I really want to get them clean. But she’s working today, so.”

Asked why it was necessary to take time off of work because of the incident, Murphy replied, “It was my only pair of overalls. I mean, what am I going to do, go to work dressed in yoga pants, and be ogled by all the cis gender bros in town? Or, like, jeans and a T-shirt? Like it was casual dress day at the office or something? Sorry, I don’t contribute to Mt. Fast Fashion in Burkina Faso. Or whatever.”