The amount of time I’ve spent in Los Angeles is criminally low. I don’t know why, I guess I just haven’t had many reasons to go. Most likely it’s because it is an intimidating city to visit. I’m from Chicago, which is a city made up of neighborhoods. Los Angeles is a city made up … Continue reading 2 Hours in Venice Beach
Yee-haw kids! Time to go over yonder into them thar hills and tell ye a tale about the rootinest, tootinest city west of the mighty Mississippi: Deadwood, South Dakota! That was exhausting and I apologize. I was booked to speak to a bunch of high school freshman in Deadwood, the same Deadwood the HBO show … Continue reading Deadwood, South Dakota
For most of my life, I didn’t think much about Kansas City. It was never the backdrop for movies or television shows. It didn’t have any natural wonders or impressive architecture. The only thing I associated Kansas City with was having the ugliest uniforms in professional sports. The Royals look like a Dodgers knockoff. The … Continue reading Kansas City 2023
I had flown into Roanoke late, picked up my puke green KIA rental, and drove to the Super 8 Motel I booked near the airport. You know how in movies when the protagonist is lost at sea in a raft or stranded on a deserted island, and just as they are about to give up … Continue reading Roanoke, I Hardly Knew Ye
My holiday travel advice can be summed up in 3 words: Don’t do it! Okay, fine. Be that way, you stubborn little shit. Congratulations on having a family you love enough to travel at the absolute worst time of year, but a family that doesn’t love you enough to understand why you’d rather visit in … Continue reading The Twitchy Traveler’s Guide to the A**holes of Holiday Travel
Other than while reading The Outsiders, I did not fuck with Tulsa at all. The first time I went there was for a NACA convention when I toured colleges as part of a spoken word group. NACA is a meat market where artists get to audition for the business of colleges from all over the country. You perform, and then Donny and Becky from the Meadow Shit College Student Activities Board decide whether or not you’ve earned the privilege to be invited to their school, which will require 2 flights, a rental car, and a horse drawn carriage to reach...
Every August, a plague descends upon the city of Chicago. A plague so wretched, so sickening, so disease-ridden that parts of downtown have to close entirely. Police call in reinforcements and parents pray for the safe return of their children. I am speaking, of course, of Lollapalooza...
I know the traveler I want to be. I want to be the guy in a sensible sport coat, carrying a briefcase that can fit easily under the chair or in the overhead compartment, yet is still capable of containing a laptop, a tablet, a bottle of whiskey, a vase, and a full-length mirror. All … Continue reading The Twitchy Traveler’s Guide to Making Travel Less Horrible and Embarrassing
I have never seen a Harry Potter film, but I assume they look like they were filmed in Lübeck. It’s got medieval brick buildings, narrow streets, corridors leading to unknown destinations, etc. It’s a LARPer’s wet dream...
Life is hard. The amount of bullshit most folks deal with on the daily is ridiculous. You’ve got shitty co-workers, a boss who thinks sick days are a privilege, your back hurts, and all you want to do is get the fuck out of Dodge. Most folks are stuck with a measly 2 weeks of … Continue reading The Twitchy Traveler’s Guide to Thrill-Seeking Adventure