The color yellow causes insanity. It’s a scientific fact. And if you think I’m exaggerating about that, well I am. But only a little. Babies also cry more in yellow rooms. What does that mean? I’m not sure, but if you don’t want your baby to turn into Jeffrey Dahmer or Lindsay Lohan when they … Continue reading Yellow Snow & Other Similarly-Hued Important Life Avoidances
Just A Facebook Girl in a Facebook World
Up early on a Monday, before her eyes could even adjust to the vague light of the world, she would reach for her phone and check her Facebook. It had her weather forecast for the day, and it was normally the first thing she would absorb of her surroundings, not long after the anxiety of … Continue reading Just A Facebook Girl in a Facebook World
Why Do You Let That Nonsense Get to You?
People react to things. It’s a crucial part of how our central nervous systems (CNS) function as living organisms. Burns, freezes, pain, possible further pain, possible death—humans are going to yank away their body parts or duck underneath something if suspect any harm will come to them, and possibly live longer as a result. We … Continue reading Why Do You Let That Nonsense Get to You?
The Hornet and the Hive Mind
Fallacy of the hive mind – 1.) Inferring that someone who makes a comment which aligns with a consensus political opinion or movement on social media possesses the same deep, ingrained, singular, core principles or characteristics as that group or movement. 2.) Erroneously clumping people into a spuriously-named, demographically or sociologically unofficial group because they agree with, voice their opinion regarding or argue in favor of a consensus opinion which is temporarily influential, on social media or elsewhere.
The 10 Best Stand-Alone Episodes in All of Anime
Episodes make this list for being able to stand on their own, first and foremost. Secondly, they need to be really, really good. Sometimes, almost inescapably, contextual holes pervade each one each time, and no one can fix that, no matter how flowery or nad-pumpingly ejaculatory the praise I or anyone else lauds upon them. … Continue reading The 10 Best Stand-Alone Episodes in All of Anime
Into the Mind of a Billionaire
Take a person. Make it you. Take you. Now, imagine you’ve made enough money to never work again in your life. A billion dollars, say. But say you don’t. That is, don’t never work again in your life. Because this is real life; because, practically, if you stop working, you won’t have your billion dollars … Continue reading Into the Mind of a Billionaire
The Age of Immodesty
Welcome—saccadists, finger-flutterers, the deficient of attention and children and disciples of Burn Culture, alike—to the contemporary Age of Immodesty.
#11. Thou Shalt Not Be Inconvenienced Ere Thy Neighbor Beareth the Brunt of Thy Inconvenience, Forthwith
You can maybe get where I’m going to go with this. Depending on how good your King James English is. Mine’s terrible. I grew up in the inner city of Philadelphia, where they forced every kid in the 2nd and 3rd grade to take Latin. So, of course, back then I was like, “Bitchin’! Not only will I be able to decipher the Bible, but one day I’m gonna get a job as Secretary of the C.H.U.D. for the Philly branch of the Latin Kings...
The Myth of a Successful Person
When I was a kid, the highest future standard anyone my age could be held to by our parents, grandparents, teachers or the mumbling Filipino guy in my neighborhood who handed out cigarettes to ten year olds and only didn’t have to register as a sex offender because they didn’t do that back then was that of doctor, lawyer or President of the United States...
Why The New Star Wars Trilogy Isn’t as Terrible as People Keep Telling You It Is
There seem to be four types of Star Wars movie-goers these days. 1.) Those who, by virtue of being too old or too young, have no emotional investment in the films. 2.) Those who saw the films as kids, desperately wanted the new trilogy to satisfy their thirty-year-dormant Star Wars jones, and found that it did...
Just Blame the Internet for Everything
I’ve recently reached that age where I catch myself starting to say shit like, “When I was a kid, nobody did things like that! Kids these days! Idiots, the lot of them! Get away from my Mercer Raceabout, you fecal-faced gong farmers!” ...
Everybody’s Favorite Sis!
My friend Bethany and I met up for drinks on Friday. She needed to talk to someone because she’d just been ghosted by the latest guy she’d met on Bumble, and my brain was identified as one that could be non-invasively picked to try and help find an answer as to why things like this keep happening to her...
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