41-Year-Old Living in His Van Is Pretty Sure He’s Marrying Material

EUGENE, Ore. (BN) — A Eugene man who calls a 1984 Chevy G20 conversion van his home believes he’s the perfect marital catch, he told Brimborion News on Sunday.

David Feldspar, 41, said he’s been living in his van for 13 years, parking it continuously at various locations in and around Lane County, and that his prospects haven’t dimmed in the least because of his life choices.

“I have girls in their twenties telling me all the time how much they love my van.  It’s Eugene, bro!  This is why I love living here!”

Feldspar didn’t disclose how he earned a majority of his income, but admitted to being on food stamps, getting his medical and dental care through subsidized healthcare services and earning a small amount of disability pay for an unspecified injury he suffered on the job 14 years ago.

“I’m zero maintenance,” Feldspar said.  “I’m somebody’s dream guy—no bills, no drama.  Hell, no responsibilities!  You got an itch, I can scratch it.  I can’t think of a better catch in this whole town than me.  You want to come in and see Disco Tex?  That’s my van.”

“Who, that scuzzball in the van?” resident Tanya Reall said.  “I see him everywhere.  I’ve never talked to him, but, yeah, he’s got people coming to his van all over, wherever it’s parked.  Some of them are girls, yeah.  But, you know what kind of girl we’re talking here, right?  I’m amazed the cops are letting this guy just drive around.”