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The New Age Paradox, Part 4: The Relationship Stock Market, and Further Reflections on My Time with a New Age Girl

Any relationship is an investment.  You put in energy, time, emotion, stress, effort and finances, you may give up parts of your dreams and life plans for it, but, in return, it can come to satisfy you in ways you have pre-determined you want to be satisfied, and also in ways you couldn’t have imagined.  … Continue reading The New Age Paradox, Part 4: The Relationship Stock Market, and Further Reflections on My Time with a New Age Girl

The New Age Paradox, Part 3: That One Guy Friend

In case you didn’t catch part 1 of the New Age Paradox, here’s a recap: The New Age Girl, this is what she would say: “I need you to talk about what you’re feeling.  But I don’t want the whole story, about what you’re feeling.  Don’t talk too much.  It’s overwhelming.  Tell it to me … Continue reading The New Age Paradox, Part 3: That One Guy Friend

The New Age Paradox, Part 2: The Men’s Group

There were a bunch of things the New Age Girl still “needed” me to do before our relationship was put on the chopping block. I started regularly going to yoga with her, which I sucked at. I started hiking the butte with her after work (at which I’d spent all day on my feet, hiking an actual mountain range, doing actual work). I’d already gone to see the therapist, like she asked...

#11. Thou Shalt Not Be Inconvenienced Ere Thy Neighbor Beareth the Brunt of Thy Inconvenience, Forthwith

You can maybe get where I’m going to go with this. Depending on how good your King James English is. Mine’s terrible. I grew up in the inner city of Philadelphia, where they forced every kid in the 2nd and 3rd grade to take Latin. So, of course, back then I was like, “Bitchin’! Not only will I be able to decipher the Bible, but one day I’m gonna get a job as Secretary of the C.H.U.D. for the Philly branch of the Latin Kings...

Glossary of New Age Terms for the Hopelessly (or Even Just Moderately) Conventional

1.) Community - People like you who think like you and act like you and look like you and believe what you believe, otherwise we don’t know how to interact with you so therefore you must be our enemy.

2.) Connection - What’s supposed to happen every single time you have sex with your partner. Without exception. Every. Single. Fucking. Time.