The Million-Dollar Truth about Winning the Lottery

“You go talk to those people. Read their stories. People get poisoned, robbed at gunpoint, executed, drugged, stabbed in the back. Literally. We’re talking old school treachery here. They get depressed, commit suicide. Smoke crack. Or just do the dumbest stuff imaginable, like try to become drug traffickers. Or smoke crack..."

Juicy Insight into the Powerful Perks of Lab-Grown Meat

“I don't know," my sister-in-law says. "Doesn't the whole thing seem a little too…I don't know. Weird?” “I mean, you’re eating eggs anyway. What are eggs but cells, right? Only this time, it’s like the egg grew up inside a machine into some kind of shapeless, godless, unverifiably lifeless blob without eyes or legs or a brain or anything like that.” “Like that one guy, who was president?” my brother says.

OMG! The Latest 411 on The Kardashians!

“Hey, what do you know about these…uhh…Kardashians?” my brother asks me one Saturday when I’m over. “What’s there to know?” I say.  “They unload their dirty laundry all over television and the internet every week.  I don’t know anything about 'em, and I still know too much about 'em.” “Hm,” he says. “I know if … Continue reading OMG! The Latest 411 on The Kardashians!

9 Amazing Things You Need to Know about ChatGPT

“Hey, what do you know about this ChatGPT stuff?” my brother says to me from the living room when I’m over there recently. “What do you want to know?” I say. “No no—I’m asking you.  What do you know?” he says. “No, I know, but what do you want to know?” I say. “I wanna … Continue reading 9 Amazing Things You Need to Know about ChatGPT

Best Insider Picks for the 2023 Stanley Cup Final

“All right, so what’s the spread?” “You mean the puckline?” he says. “No, I mean the spread. As in, ‘spread your cheeks and sit right down on top of this ceramic fruit topiary centerpiece, that I’m gonna hold steady for you. And give it a fundlebuster.’” My niece spit most of her beverage out onto the floor...

7 Scary Scandals of Prince Harry & the Royal Family

“Hey, did you hear about the royals?” my sister-in-law asks me when I’m over.  “And the latest scandal with Prince Harry? It was pretty scary what happened.” “What, Kansas City?” “No, Harry and Meghan.  The royals.” “I seen that show, I think.  What about it?” “It’s not a show, they’re people.” “Well, what are they … Continue reading 7 Scary Scandals of Prince Harry & the Royal Family

The Ultimate Take on Martha Stewart’s Sexy Spread

"I mean, what good can you possibly say of this? ‘It’s going to empower women to…’—nope.  ‘It’s going to inspire young girls to…’—nope.  ‘It’s going to motivate seventy-year-old women to…’—nope.  ‘Men are going to buy it because…’—nope.  ‘Seventy-year-old men are going buy it because…’—maybe. But that's all you got."