EUGENE, Ore. (BN) — An itinerant Manhattanite who’s called Eugene and much of the Western US his home for the last 9 years has decided to phone his dad for a plane ticket to his actual home, he told Brimborion News on Monday. Samuel Kass, 33, who’s been living in a camper for the last three years on various streets and parking lots in Lane County has finally realized he’s had enough of the life, and that it’s time to move on.
“I love it out here,” said Kass. “But I feel like I’ve done and seen it all, you know? I think it’s time for something new.”
After graduating from Penn State University with a degree in finance, Kass decided, on a whim, to visit some friends in San Francisco. It wasn’t long before he realized he wanted to stay, and, with some people he met in the Bay Area, bought a bus and began to follow bands like Phish and Widespread Panic around the Western US, frequenting festivals like Coachella and Reggae on the River. Eventually, he followed his then-girlfriend to Eugene. That, he says, is when things began to sour.
“Not only did my girlfriend bail on me for some scumpunk, but the tweakers and homeless around here just don’t leave you alone. Then people keep calling the cops on you for parking your camper on the block, and once you’re on the cops’ radar, it’s like driving a Lamborghini in El Salvador. I mean, forget about it.”
With several city citations, shakedowns, STDs and drug offenses under his belt, Kass decided he was ready to return to his opulent home on the Upper East Side.
“My dad said he’d set me up with a job in his firm down on Wall Street. He wants me to start Monday, but I think I’ll take a month off first. Readjust to city life, you know? Plus, I got to find someone to buy my RV, get a new wardrobe and then lop off these dreads. A bunch of my friends want one for a keepsake, so I got to figure out who gets what.”
