Fat Hymie & the Hard Times Phosphate Possie

And the second the sliding doors opened I behold over the loudspeaker a girl’s voice: “Cody, can you come to the register?  There’s a guy up here WITH A BOMB AND HE’S GOING TO BLOW US UP IF WE DON’T GIVE HIM OUR MONEY!!!!” I turned back to my girlfriend and told her to run.  “Get out of here!  Get back to the car!”  And what did she do?  The same thing she did every time I ever suggested something to her. She fucking argued with me...

I Double Detective Deputy Dare You: Tales from the Birchwood, Vol. 1

All I know, it was a cellphone that was bright lime green.  Bright lime green like a child would own.  Like a child clumsy enough—or unable to defend themselves enough—to allow it to be slapped from their hand and to skitter across the street where an accomplice could pick it up and dart into the shadows...

You Must Be At Least This High To Be This High

I got so drunk I had to spend the night upstairs in one of the rooms-for-rent, surrounded all night by all these average looking American businessmen and middle-aged tourists, engaging in such unspoken, immoral acts of foulness that I couldn’t even begin to recount to you. Except to say, that they sometimes involved underage monkeys...