Because All Those Alien Abductees Are Also Former Speed Daters

I was walking down Blair Boulevard, amazed at how much the strip has changed in the last ten years—primarily from pretentious urban commodities like whiskey-fusion bars, coffee-fusion kiosks, designer beer, farm-to-table restaurants, Mexic-Ital-Yemeni fusion cuisine, Califor-Nigeri-Armenian fusion cuisine, electric tricycle showrooms, designer tacos, sushi restaurants that seat six and have no windows...

You Must Be At Least This High To Be This High

I made it to Cambodia.  I was pretty sure I was never even going to see the runway, it seemed so ridiculous when I first went online to look at tickets, but then another fight with my girlfriend, similar to the one that had me pressing the ‘purchase’ button in the first place, got me packing, just the night before my first plane was scheduled to take off...