I met his gaze. And, for a moment, our souls passed from one to the other, and the currency that was exchanged in the process was the stream of urine that ran slowly down his inner thigh...
Author: Hymie Pinchbeck
Fat Hymie & the Hard Times Phosphate Possie
And the second the sliding doors opened I behold over the loudspeaker a girl’s voice: “Cody, can you come to the register? There’s a guy up here WITH A BOMB AND HE’S GOING TO BLOW US UP IF WE DON’T GIVE HIM OUR MONEY!!!!” I turned back to my girlfriend and told her to run. “Get out of here! Get back to the car!” And what did she do? The same thing she did every time I ever suggested something to her. She fucking argued with me...
Because All Those Alien Abductees Are Also Former Speed Daters
She had the kind of stupid going on that made me think she got a really bad sunburn the day before. You know how that goes? Your brain just shuts down and all day you’re like, ‘Heywwooommnnggghhh.’ ...
I Double Detective Deputy Dare You: Tales from the Birchwood, Vol. 1
All I know, it was a cellphone that was bright lime green. Bright lime green like a child would own. Like a child clumsy enough—or unable to defend themselves enough—to allow it to be slapped from their hand and to skitter across the street where an accomplice could pick it up and dart into the shadows...
You Must Be At Least This High To Be This High
I got so drunk I had to spend the night upstairs in one of the rooms-for-rent, surrounded all night by all these average looking American businessmen and middle-aged tourists, engaging in such unspoken, immoral acts of foulness that I couldn’t even begin to recount to you. Except to say, that they sometimes involved underage monkeys...