The judge went on, trying not to chuckle, “You convinced these CrescentCare people to put parts of themselves in the hole and sometimes you were in the camel costume, this document alleges.” “Your honor,” my uncle said, “I don’t see what that has to do with anything. They had nothing better to do.”
'There's a man with binoculars on the other roof. Just please don't walk upstairs. I need to eat tonight. Of all the nights...it's been so hot today! Man With Washed Clothes, the rifle's not pointed at you! It's at me! Mr. Clean Clothes...it's so hot, I see ants...in the sky! He's got a chart, he's shown me the chart! Please...don't go up there!'
Did you know that, today, if you punch the words ‘would I get pregnant if’ into an internet search engine, the most common response that comes back is: ‘I fucked a dog'? I kid you not...
"This is gonna be beautiful, my boy. We can’t lose. This Dinkins kid sounds like a real egocentric jackwad. Perfect for the operation. Another little Shah of Iran down here in the bayou. And with this kid Graft, sounds like we got a bit of Armas thrown in for good measure. And Fimbler, the other … Continue reading How to Create a Dictatorship: A Guide to Overthrowing Your Democratically-Elected, Grade School Adversaries, Part 2
Didn’t take long to see the gold crucifix around his neck. And once I did, it seemed ready to pounce on me like a leopard in the black, tall prairie grass that was his chest hairs, framed by his considerably buttoned-down, purple polyester shirt. I was on a bus back in New Orleans, around 12-years old, on my way home from detention (again)...
Of course, this was 1987. Everything was radical. Fourth grade. Girls. 9-year-old girls with mullet haircuts. Needle exchange programs. Overthrowing legally elected, Third World presidents. Overthrowing legally elected, fourth grade, 9-year-old girl presidents with mullet haircuts who start needle exchange programs...