The Brimblogrion

Steam Whistle News Feed – September 16, 2022

I haven’t seriously looked at the news in over a week and a half.  Is it true that burn-out is directly correlated to intent?  I don’t know.  It’s probably correlated more to duration, which involves prolonged intent.  At any rate, I know I didn’t view the general, erstwhile-worthwhile news as anathema before I began to … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – September 16, 2022

Steam Whistle News Feed – August 26, 2022

So, I’ve got a question. Has there ever been a president in modern history who continued to generate so many bumbling political headlines after he left office—and his administration generate such negative press, still—than Donald Trump? Just think back to the last fifty, seventy years or more. How much did you hear about the continued … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – August 26, 2022

Steam Whistle News Feed – August 19, 2022

So, you want to be a writer, do you, kid?  Well, the first thing you have to realize is that no one cares about your meritless blog, the fictionalized, slice-of-life vignettes you’ve written based on your unremarkable existence, your ghetto zombie apocalypse, your girlie shojo manga, your period piece sci-fi romance set on the high … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – August 19, 2022

Steam Whistle News Feed – August 12, 2022

Such hypocrisy in the world today. *smh* No no—by me. Sure, I’ll be the first to admit it. Everyone does it, everyone engages in it, but I‘ll be the first to admit it: Yes, I do that thing that everyone else does that we all publicly say shouldn’t be done by anyone. I’m a hypocrite. … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – August 12, 2022

Steam Whistle News Feed – August 5, 2022

These primaries, I swear to God.  What the hell is the point of anyone who, say, lives in Oregon having to care about what goes on in a Texas primary?  I mean, from a news standpoint, it’s news, so it gets reported, and the news hopes to continually profit from people tuning into it.  But … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – August 5, 2022

Steam Whistle News Feed – July 29, 2022

“Oh, the tyranny of kings and of despots!  Oh, fear ye, thou plodding huddled masses, thy masters’ mandate—the divine, minority opulence of the moneyed incorporation, the gentried landowner and the martial dictate of fascist rule—shall forestall thy happiness and render thy inalienable liberty and prosperity but the illusory whims of an unjust world!” Or something like that...

Steam Whistle News Feed – July 22, 2022

How about this weather we’re having, huh? I’m going to be that guy this week. Your unconscionably annoying neighbor. That guy who just perpetuates awkward anywhere, any time of day, and has absolutely no shame about it. Who’s actually a horrible influence on your kids, too, for the ten seconds he talks to them, shirtless … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – July 22, 2022

Steam Whistle News Feed – July 15, 2022

President Joe Biden visited the Middle East for the first time on Saturday. It only took him 544 days since becoming president to get around to it. He’d been sending a message by abstaining—or trying to—in regard to Saudi and Israeli domestic policy, which, on occasion, can lead to the equivalent of a human rights … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – July 15, 2022

Steam Whistle News Feed – July 8, 2022

Some of the biggest news this week was the mass shooting in Highland Park, Illinois.  You’ve likely heard about it.  It happened on Monday, during a Fourth of July parade.  On Friday, someone walked up behind former Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe and shot him dead with a homemade shotgun, while he was speaking in … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – July 8, 2022

Steam Whistle News Feed – June 24, 2022

Well, they did it.  Roe v. Wade was finally overturned on Friday.  After a months-long ballyhoo, incontinence control, outrage and roid rage on the part of both the left and right (and the Court, itself), the decision was handed down by, you guessed it, a 6 to 3 majority. So, that’s done.  There are other … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – June 24, 2022

woman in white suit discussing stock market data to her colleagues

The New Age Paradox, Part 4: The Relationship Stock Market, and Further Reflections on My Time with a New Age Girl

Any relationship is an investment.  You put in energy, time, emotion, stress, effort and finances, you may give up parts of your dreams and life plans for it, but, in return, it can come to satisfy you in ways you have pre-determined you want to be satisfied, and also in ways you couldn’t have imagined.  … Continue reading The New Age Paradox, Part 4: The Relationship Stock Market, and Further Reflections on My Time with a New Age Girl

Self-Pleasure in the Time of COVID-19

Two months before the coronavirus pandemic blew up in the U.S., I got transferred to the graveyard shift at my job. Which meant that, for starters, unlike the coronavirus itself, the curve for my dating life was seriously about to flatten. My casual sex life, however, like the number of idiots watching FOX News who didn’t believe COVID-19 was a real thing, was about to go through the roof.

yellow wasp

The Hornet and the Hive Mind

Fallacy of the hive mind – 1.) Inferring that someone who makes a comment which aligns with a consensus political opinion or movement on social media possesses the same deep, ingrained, singular, core principles or characteristics as that group or movement.  2.) Erroneously clumping people into a spuriously-named, demographically or sociologically unofficial group because they agree with, voice their opinion regarding or argue in favor of a consensus opinion which is temporarily influential, on social media or elsewhere.

That’s What Clever Is

It didn't take long to see the gold crucifix around his neck.  And once I did, it seemed ready to pounce on me like a leopard in the black, tall prairie grass that was his chest hairs, framed by his considerably buttoned-down, purple polyester shirt.  I was on a bus back in New Orleans, around 12-years old, on my way home from detention (again)...

The New Age Paradox, Part 3: That One Guy Friend

In case you didn’t catch part 1 of the New Age Paradox, here’s a recap: The New Age Girl, this is what she would say: “I need you to talk about what you’re feeling.  But I don’t want the whole story, about what you’re feeling.  Don’t talk too much.  It’s overwhelming.  Tell it to me … Continue reading The New Age Paradox, Part 3: That One Guy Friend

The 10 Best Stand-Alone Episodes in All of Anime

Episodes make this list for being able to stand on their own, first and foremost.  Secondly, they need to be really, really good. Sometimes, almost inescapably, contextual holes pervade each one each time, and no one can fix that, no matter how flowery or nad-pumpingly ejaculatory the praise I or anyone else lauds upon them.  … Continue reading The 10 Best Stand-Alone Episodes in All of Anime

Into the Mind of a Billionaire

Take a person.  Make it you.  Take you.  Now, imagine you’ve made enough money to never work again in your life.  Billion dollars, say.  But say you don’t.  That is, don’t never work again in your life.  Because this is real life; because, practically, if you stop working, you won’t have your billion dollars anymore.  … Continue reading Into the Mind of a Billionaire

The Coming Electoral Contest in the Roman Empire, 395 A.D.

We had an election a little while ago in America.  Did you hear about it?  Maybe you did, and just didn’t give a shit.  Only 62% of voting-age Americans actually came out to vote.  Which was remarkable.  For how good it was.  How could that be good, you may chuckle? Well, this is America. And … Continue reading The Coming Electoral Contest in the Roman Empire, 395 A.D.

The New Age Paradox, Part 2: The Men’s Group

There were a bunch of things the New Age Girl still “needed” me to do before our relationship was put on the chopping block. I started regularly going to yoga with her, which I sucked at. I started hiking the butte with her after work (at which I’d spent all day on my feet, hiking an actual mountain range, doing actual work). I’d already gone to see the therapist, like she asked...

Review: Van Morrison’s Contractual Obligation Session, 1968

Coming into my first listening of Van Morrison’s vengeful, untitled studio bird-flip of 1968 (referred to, since its official release in 2017, as The Contractual Obligation Session), there was only one thing of which I was knowledgeable: Morrison wrote all thirty-one of these songs solely to get out of a contract with his record label at the time, Bang Records...

How to Create a Dictatorship: A Guide to Overthrowing Your Democratically-Elected, Grade School Adversaries, Part 1

My grandfather used to be a high-level CIA operative.  From 1953 up to 1982, when he retired, he had been in many of the meeting rooms at Langley when some of the biggest coups against Third World leaders had been hatched.  In command tents and nondescript living rooms around the world—and in the Pentagon, itself—he … Continue reading How to Create a Dictatorship: A Guide to Overthrowing Your Democratically-Elected, Grade School Adversaries, Part 1

#11. Thou Shalt Not Be Inconvenienced Ere Thy Neighbor Beareth the Brunt of Thy Inconvenience, Forthwith

You can maybe get where I’m going to go with this. Depending on how good your King James English is. Mine’s terrible. I grew up in the inner city of Philadelphia, where they forced every kid in the 2nd and 3rd grade to take Latin. So, of course, back then I was like, “Bitchin’! Not only will I be able to decipher the Bible, but one day I’m gonna get a job as Secretary of the C.H.U.D. for the Philly branch of the Latin Kings...

The Myth of a Successful Person

When I was a kid, the highest future standard anyone my age could be held to by our parents, grandparents, teachers or the mumbling Filipino guy in my neighborhood who handed out cigarettes to ten year olds and only didn’t have to register as a sex offender because they didn’t do that back then was that of doctor, lawyer or President of the United States...

Aspects of Human Anatomy & Physiology That Prove That Intelligent Design Really Wasn’t

I’ll be operating here not on the principle of 100 Things in the Affirmative Prove A Point, but more on the principle of Just 1 Thing to the Contrary Proves It Wrong.  It’s that old Nazi Scientists vs. Albert Einstein argument.  100 Anti-Semites walked into a bar and were asked how many Jews it took … Continue reading Aspects of Human Anatomy & Physiology That Prove That Intelligent Design Really Wasn’t

Dating and the Application of the Scientific Method to Dating: How to Scientifically Determine If Your Partner Is a Skeaze

I want to address some points here brought up by my 22-year old niece, about dating.  Before recently dumping her, her boyfriend made some interesting accusations about her behavior that she couldn’t quite understand.  And I, as an older and wiser, objective adult, upon hearing them, couldn’t allay her confusion or fears with some platitudinous … Continue reading Dating and the Application of the Scientific Method to Dating: How to Scientifically Determine If Your Partner Is a Skeaze

Glossary of New Age Terms for the Hopelessly (or Even Just Moderately) Conventional

1.) Community - People like you who think like you and act like you and look like you and believe what you believe, otherwise we don’t know how to interact with you so therefore you must be our enemy.

2.) Connection - What’s supposed to happen every single time you have sex with your partner. Without exception. Every. Single. Fucking. Time.

Camel Costumes, Taquitos & a Death in the Family

I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed Thursday night when the phone suddenly rings and, in between bong rips, I can hear my girlfriend answer it and begin to field questions in that very polite, earnestly slow-speak she uses exclusively for what I can only guess are old people who’ve accidentally misdialed my home...

Because All Those Alien Abductees Are Also Former Speed Daters

I was walking down Blair Boulevard, amazed at how much the strip has changed in the last ten years—primarily from pretentious urban commodities like whiskey-fusion bars, coffee-fusion kiosks, designer beer, farm-to-table restaurants, Mexic-Ital-Yemeni fusion cuisine, Califor-Nigeri-Armenian fusion cuisine, electric tricycle showrooms, designer tacos, sushi restaurants that seat six and have no windows...

Everybody’s Favorite Sis!

My friend Bethany and I met up for drinks on Friday. She needed to talk to someone because she’d just been ghosted by the latest guy she’d met on Bumble, and my brain was identified as one that could be non-invasively picked to try and help find an answer as to why things like this keep happening to her...

I Double Detective Deputy Dare You: Tales from the Birchwood, Vol. 1

Saturday morning, early at the Birchwood, I’m startled out of sleep by the window-muted shouting outside my apartment of a female voice: “Ron!  Where you at, Ron!  I know you in there!  If somebody don’t go and get Ron for me, I am gonna fuh-reeeak!” ...

The Psychophysical Limitations of a Judeo-Christian Hell

First off, I need to say that there is no such thing as ‘Psychophysics’.  It’s technically not a real thing.  There have been psychophysical experiments that have been conducted over the course of the last 100 years or so under the category, mainly, of neuroscientific research, or just ‘neuroscience’, which, itself, is actually a general term that encompasses a number of sciences, both natural and social...

You Must Be At Least This High To Be This High

I made it to Cambodia.  I was pretty sure I was never even going to see the runway, it seemed so ridiculous when I first went online to look at tickets, but then another fight with my girlfriend, similar to the one that had me pressing the ‘purchase’ button in the first place, got me packing, just the night before my first plane was scheduled to take off...

It’s a Public Building, You Can Go Anywhere You Like

My friend Vicki and I walked out to the mall on Friday, each got a little bit of food to eat, and then headed back home.

And we’re walking by the river, and I was like, “Oh, hey, this looks like The River House.  Vicki, I wanna go in here.  Come on.  I’ve never been in here, I’ve lived in this town for 34 years, I wanna see what’s in here.” ...