This is gonna be beautiful, my boy. We can’t lose. This Dinkins kid sounds like a real egocentric jackwad. Perfect for the operation. Another little Shah of Iran, down here in the bayou. And with this kid Graft, sounds like we got a bit of Armas thrown in for good measure. And Fimbler, the other … Continue reading How to Create a Dictatorship: A Guide to Overthrowing Your Democratically-Elected, Grade School Adversaries, Part 2
Steam Whistle News Feed – February 17, 2023
Against my better judgment, I wanted to talk solely about two things this week, two things that sum up much of what kind of spurious gruel the world’s figurative fat-cat trenchermen and their private chefs are cooking up and serving to people. And like the little Dickensian, grime-faced, wall-licking orphans we are, starving for a … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – February 17, 2023
Yellow Snow & Other Similarly-Hued Important Life Avoidances
The color yellow causes insanity. It’s a scientific fact. And if you think I’m exaggerating about that, well I am. But only a little. Babies also cry more in yellow rooms. What does that mean? I’m not sure, but if you don’t want your baby to turn into Jeffrey Dahmer or Lindsay Lohan when they … Continue reading Yellow Snow & Other Similarly-Hued Important Life Avoidances
Steam Whistle News Feed – February 3, 2023
For those of you familiar with America’s history in befuddling or outright superplexing the rightfully-elected governments of Third World democracies during much of the 20th Century, particularly when those democracies leaned too far left, you may think America’s looking pretty good these days. And you may think it’s looking absolutely stellar when compared with what’s … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – February 3, 2023
The Masquerade Ball of Politics (January 20, 2023)
You have to understand something about politics: Every single person involved in a political discussion or an effort to draft a bill, at any one given point in time, believes the points or issues they’re arguing are “right,” and everything else is wrong—infallibly, into perpetuity and written on the wall inside one of God’s own, private bathroom stalls ...
Steam Whistle News Feed – December 30, 2022
It was the end of the year this week, for those of us who choose to follow a Gregorian calendar. To our graves. I mean, as opposed to a Chinese calendar. Which will lead you to a grave, eventually, sure. It’ll just take it a couple more months. Or something like that. It’s been personally … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – December 30, 2022
Steam Whistle News Feed – December 9, 2022
What is the news, if it’s not broadcast with some form of ulterior motive? Has this ever been the case? Ever? Don't know. Don’t think so. For the organism in question is forever holistically tied to what fuels it and maintains its growth. Mass media is a publicly traded business. And all such businesses fundamentally … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – December 9, 2022
Steam Whistle News Feed – November 18, 2022
So, this week it’ll be back to news on Trump. Like he were the g--damn president again. Which you can better believe he won’t be. Not ever again. My money's on his not even getting the nomination in 2024. Plenty of Republican candidates are already pointing out how bad he was for the country, and … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – November 18, 2022
Steam Whistle News Feed – November 4, 2022
What’s wrong with the world today? That’s me, asking a rhetorical question in response to an actual question that no one actually posed to me, which goes something like, ‘Hey, a--hole, what do you think is wrong with the world today?’ I mean, in those specific words I’ve never been asked it. In so many … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – November 4, 2022
Steam Whistle News Feed – October 21, 2022
It’s election season now in America. Or has been for the last month, maybe. That’s about when the candidate flyers started to asphyxiate my mailbox—people who didn’t engage in any political activity the past two years looking to unseat someone in the state legislature or Congress, because hundreds of thousands in outside dollars wants them … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – October 21, 2022
Review: St. Elmo’s Fire (1985)
I read an article yesterday in Deadline by Carl Kurlander, the co-writer of the 1985 Joel Schumacher film St. Elmo’s Fire, in which Kurlander reflects on his time before, during and after the film's writing and production, and the affects it maybe had, good and bad, upon the culture of young, urban, professional America. And I got super nostalgic. I was 9 when it came out. The movie was a social phenomenon to my age group. At least in my little part of the world...
Steam Whistle News Feed – September 30, 2022
Let’s talk about the fascist state. By which I mean, let me talk about the fascist state. Not of yesteryear, not of days long gone, but of today. Fascist state meaning fascist government, nation, ruling party—fascism out in the open, trying to hide itself as, what? Nationalism? Populism? Nativism? Freedom from oppression and tyranny? Self-rule? … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – September 30, 2022
Steam Whistle News Feed – September 16, 2022
I haven’t seriously looked at the news in over a week and a half. Is it true that burnout is directly correlated to intent? I don’t know. It’s probably correlated more to duration, which involves prolonged intent. At any rate, I know I didn’t view the general, erstwhile-worthwhile news as anathema before I began to … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – September 16, 2022
Steam Whistle News Feed – August 26, 2022
So, I’ve got a question. Has there ever been a president in modern history who continued to generate so many bumbling political headlines after he left office—and his administration generate such negative press, still—than Donald Trump? Just think back to the last fifty, seventy years or more. How much did you hear about the continued … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – August 26, 2022
Steam Whistle News Feed – August 19, 2022
So, you want to be a writer, do you, kid? Well, the first thing you have to realize is that no one cares about your meritless blog, the fictionalized, slice-of-life vignettes you’ve written based on your unremarkable existence, your ghetto zombie apocalypse, your girlie shojo manga, your period piece sci-fi romance set on the high … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – August 19, 2022
Steam Whistle News Feed – August 12, 2022
Such hypocrisy in the world today. *smh* No no—by me. Sure, I’ll be the first to admit it. Everyone does it, everyone engages in it, but I‘ll be the first to admit it: Yes, I do that thing that everyone else does that we all publicly say shouldn’t be done by anyone. I’m a hypocrite. … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – August 12, 2022
Steam Whistle News Feed – August 5, 2022
These primaries, I swear to God. What the hell is the point of anyone who, say, lives in Oregon having to care about what goes on in a Texas primary? I mean, from a news standpoint, it’s news, so it gets reported, and the news hopes to continually profit from people tuning into it. But … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – August 5, 2022
Steam Whistle News Feed – July 29, 2022
“Oh, the tyranny of kings and of despots! Oh, fear ye, thou plodding huddled masses, thy masters’ mandate—the divine, minority opulence of the moneyed incorporation, the gentried landowner and the martial dictate of fascist rule—shall forestall thy happiness and render thy inalienable liberty and prosperity but the illusory whims of an unjust world!” Or something like that...
Steam Whistle News Feed – July 22, 2022
How about this weather we’re having, huh? I’m going to be that guy this week. Your unconscionably annoying neighbor. That guy who just perpetuates awkward anywhere, any time of day, and has absolutely no shame about it. Who’s actually a horrible influence on your kids, too, for the ten seconds he talks to them, shirtless … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – July 22, 2022
Steam Whistle News Feed – July 15, 2022
President Joe Biden visited the Middle East for the first time on Saturday. It only took him 544 days since becoming president to get around to it. He’d been sending a message by abstaining—or trying to—in regard to Saudi and Israeli domestic policy, which, on occasion, can lead to the equivalent of a human rights … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – July 15, 2022
Steam Whistle News Feed – July 8, 2022
Some of the biggest news this week was the mass shooting in Highland Park, Illinois. You’ve likely heard about it. It happened on Monday, during a Fourth of July parade. On Friday, someone walked up behind former Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe and shot him dead with a homemade shotgun, while he was speaking in … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – July 8, 2022
Steam Whistle News Feed – July 1, 2022
I just have to say, what a great time it's been to start a column summarizing the most important news of the week. And by ‘great’, I mean ‘Jesus f---ing Christ, what the hell is happening to the legal fabric of this country’?
Steam Whistle News Feed – June 24, 2022
Well, they did it. Roe v. Wade was finally overturned on Friday. After a months-long ballyhoo, incontinence control, outrage and roid rage on the part of both the left and right (and the Court, itself), the decision was handed down by, you guessed it, a 6 to 3 majority. So, that’s done. There are other … Continue reading Steam Whistle News Feed – June 24, 2022
Just A Facebook Girl in a Facebook World
Up early on a Monday, before her eyes could even adjust to the vague light of the world, she would reach for her phone and check her Facebook. It had her weather forecast for the day, and it was normally the first thing she would absorb of her surroundings, not long after the anxiety of … Continue reading Just A Facebook Girl in a Facebook World
Why Do You Let That Nonsense Get to You?
People react to things. It’s a crucial part of how our central nervous systems (CNS) function as living organisms. Burns, freezes, pain, possible further pain, possible death—humans are going to yank away their body parts or duck underneath something if suspect any harm will come to them, and possibly live longer as a result. We … Continue reading Why Do You Let That Nonsense Get to You?
The New Age Paradox, Part 4: The Relationship Stock Market, and Further Reflections on My Time with a New Age Girl
Any relationship is an investment. You put in energy, time, emotion, stress, effort and finances, you may give up parts of your dreams and life plans for it, but, in return, it can come to satisfy you in ways you have pre-determined you want to be satisfied, and also in ways you couldn’t have imagined. … Continue reading The New Age Paradox, Part 4: The Relationship Stock Market, and Further Reflections on My Time with a New Age Girl
Self-Pleasure in the Time of COVID-19
Two months before the coronavirus pandemic blew up in the U.S., I got transferred to the graveyard shift at my job. Which meant that, for starters, unlike the coronavirus itself, the curve for my dating life was seriously about to flatten. My casual sex life, however, like the number of idiots watching FOX News who didn’t believe COVID-19 was a real thing, was about to go through the roof...
The Hornet and the Hive Mind
Fallacy of the hive mind – 1.) Inferring that someone who makes a comment which aligns with a consensus political opinion or movement on social media possesses the same deep, ingrained, singular, core principles or characteristics as that group or movement. 2.) Erroneously clumping people into a spuriously-named, demographically or sociologically unofficial group because they agree with, voice their opinion regarding or argue in favor of a consensus opinion which is temporarily influential, on social media or elsewhere.
That’s What Clever Is
Didn’t take long to see the gold crucifix around his neck. And once I did, it seemed ready to pounce on me like a leopard in the black, tall prairie grass that was his chest hairs, framed by his considerably buttoned-down, purple polyester shirt. I was on a bus back in New Orleans, around 12-years old, on my way home from detention (again)...
The New Age Paradox, Part 3: That One Guy Friend
In case you didn’t catch part 1 of the New Age Paradox, here’s a recap: The New Age Girl, this is what she would say: “I need you to talk about what you’re feeling. But I don’t want the whole story, about what you’re feeling. Don’t talk too much. It’s overwhelming..."